TRP: Goro and Mishka (Small Questions)
Coyote: Day 111, after the scene where Hansel admits to Goro that he killed and ate his previous crew. Mishka approaches Goro for a discussion about their love life. Mishka folded his arms over the railing and watched Hansel work with their newly conscripted crew. He was teaching two civilians how to adjust the sails. It was sweet, watching Hansel work. He idly thought back to the first night he'd met Hansel-- scowling at the bar, daring anyone to come near him. Knuckles still bruised, bloody, and split from beating the shit out of another crew. Rough and coarse. The way he'd reacted to Mishka flirting with him. The confusion. That had been good. Mishka had loved that version. But... he loved this version too. This older, calmer one.. Firm. Blunt. Patient. He wasn't sure which one he liked more. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe he just loved Hansel. Maybe he should wolf-whistle like he used to... Nah. He didn't want to interrupt. Just wanted to watch his husband being his husband. Mishka sighed. Four days. This had been nice. Relaxing. He wasn't ready for vacation to be over yet, though. He pushed himself away from the railing, grabbed a bottle of wine, then headed down the stairs onto the main deck. Goro was sitting quietly, doodling absentmindedly on a piece of paper. He looked a bit lost. Ah, Goro. Mishka fuckin' loved Goro. He'd go bother that nerd. He padded quietly down the deck, then stood directly behind Goro and glanced at the paper over his shoulder. Dear Ma, it said. "Oh, adorable," Mishka said. "Which mother are you writing to?" ' Lina: ' Goro promptly crumpled up the paper and twisted around to scowl up at Mishka. "Fuck off. I was just..." No, there was no lie that would work here. Mishka had already seen too much, no question. "Fuck off." Coyote: Mishka sat directly next to him, uncomfortably close, so that their arms were pressed together. "I could deliver it for you. The downside is that I will absolutely read your mail." ' Lina: ' That actually gave Goro pause. It'd be a much quicker way for his letter to reach Amari, but... no, fuck no, the part about Mishka reading it was unacceptable, and also the part about Mishka and Amari meeting each other without Goro there to control absolutely every aspect of the encounter. "No," he grumbled. "What do you want?" He felt a little sorry for that last part. He didn't actually mind Mishka sitting with him. Just... old defensiveness slipping through. Coyote: Hmm. "I was just kidding about reading it," Mishka said. "You don't have to if y'don't want to, though." He drummed his fingers. Flustering Goro was amusing, but now that he'd done it, he realized it had been a bad idea. He'd come over here to ask Goro to come relax with him. Maybe putting him on he defense had not, in fact, been the best path to that. "We only have a couple days left," he finally said. He watched Hansel idly. No pressure, no tension, just... enjoying himself. "Suppose I thought I might try wooing you, but I'm not sure how to do it. The previous methods I've employed have ended less-than-satisfactorily, y'know. Y'know, like that time where I paid someone to shoot me and then we punched each other. Anyway, d'you have any advice? Tips on how to woo Goro Flatflower?" ' Lina: ' Huh, that was a damn good question. Goro had never bothered giving that kind of thing much thought, since he'd always assumed romance and shit weren't for him. But he'd sure had a fucking lot of it lately, hadn't he. Or at least things that seemed vaguely romance-ish. He thought of the last few people he'd kissed, and what exactly had led up to it. Hansel had come in out of nowhere and swept him off his feet; Goro sure as hell hadn't seen that coming, and frankly felt a little put out about it. Nixie, though, she hadn't even done anything, she'd just been herself, and that alone had wooed Goro Flatflower. Wooed the fuck out of him. And, in a weird way, the same was true of Mishka. Sure it had looked a lot different than it had with Nixie, but at the end of the day, Mishka drew him in just by being Mishka, and not through any of the weird shit he did. Well. Maybe some of it. Goro couldn't even put a finger on what it was, the thing that made Mishka so fucking alluring to him. He was... just... god. Goro's heart started to pick up just thinking about it. It was the same feeling you got looking at an amazing view from up high. The beauty and the awe and everything, and the sensation of your gut dropping out of you and... God. Fucking. "You could just try asking. Saying you'd like to spend time with me." Goro side eyed him. "And without making it sound like you're asking for a favor. You know, that's the problem with you. Everything you say sounds like you're asking for a favor, or doing someone a favor, or if it's neither of those then you just sound sarcastic. Never get any plain old, 'Hey Goro, I want to spend time with you.' Not that you would. Just an example." He looked away, fast. Coyote: Mishka watched him go through the whole rant. He caught himself watching Goro... the same way he watched Hansel. Studying the little expressions, the was his tone shifted. Categorizing each little thing. Not because he had to, or because he was trying to manipulate Goro, but just because he wanted to. Mishka reached over, touched Goro's chin, made Goro look at him. "Hey," Mishka said, looking him directly in the eyes. "Goro Flatflower. I want to spend some time with you." ' Lina: ' Oh, yep, there it was, the gut-dropping-out feeling. "'Kay." Coyote: That was fairly easy. Mishka kind've liked the bullshit, though. Missed it. He categorized this new information away. It'd make a useful Last Plan, after other plans failed. Without speaking, he grabbed the bottle, then pulled Goro by the hand towards the captain's quarters, smirking. "Hey Granger!" he called. "I'm borrowing your Goro! I shall consider returning him once I'm done." Izzy: Hansel glanced up from the frustrating task of teaching civilians how tacking worked, and saw Mishka dragging Goro away, wine bottle in hand. Goro appeared to be in shock. Hansel was sure it'd be fine. He waved them on, grinning specifically at Goro, and called back, "Don't worry, if I want'im you won't be able to keep me away." Back to the task at hand. These fuckin' people. ' Lina: ' Goro looked determinedly at the ground, his ears getting hot. They kept saying these things and then not doing anything to him except cuddling. Was that... did people talk that way about cuddling? Like he had any fucking clue. No complaints, either, just... not sure he had a clue what was going on. He let Mishka lead him into the captain's quarters, and stood fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve while Mishka locked the door. Coyote: Mishka was on edge the second he heard the door click. Like a man in a desert who'd just found an oasis. It was right in front of him, now. Maybe not, though. They had a good few hours. Hansel would be busy working with the crew for the rest of the afternoon, probably; until dinner, at least. Mishka uncorked the bottle. "Are you drinking today, not drinking, or pretending you don't drink and then doing it anyway? Full disclosure: either way, I'm having half this bottle." ' Lina: ' "Not drinking. I don't drink, normally, except when I'm with you for some reason. But I'm trying to break that habit." Coyote: "Whatever for?" ' Lina: ' "Makes me sick." Coyote: "Mm." Couldn't read him, again. Mishka really fucking liked that. Thrilling. "Hey. I'm gonna drop the bullshit for a second. That alright?" ' Lina: ' Goro's eyes widened. He put a hand over his mouth. "You... you mean to tell me... you've been bullshitting me? All this time, Mishka? Since--since the day we met?" He pretended to reel on his feet, touching the back of his hand to his forehead. Then he straightened up again. "Yeah. Fine. Go nuts." Coyote: Mishka snorted, smiling against his will. He downed half the bottle, then set it down . "I'd really like to--" Do some really fucking dirty things to you. Make you beg for it. That was good. Just... lie in bed quietly with you, and touch you quietly, and see what you like. "You didn't have sex with Hansel, huh?" Mishka said. "Why not?" ' Lina: ' Goro sat on the bed, as standing was suddenly feeling like too much effort. He shrugged. "We just didn't. He said he wasn't going to until..." Goro thought back, trying to remember exactly. Until I'm convinced you want it, or something like that. His jaw was clamped shut too tight to repeat it. It still didn't really make any sense, anyway. He shrugged again. Coyote: "Huh." So Hansel had been the one to decide it wasn't happening. Mishka wondered, briefly, if that meant something else-- if Hansel didn't have to have sex, or... something... then dismissed it. Foolish. Hansel wasn't a liar. Mishka moved onto the bed. He examined dirt under his finger nails. "Do you want... want me to keep showing you things?" His eyes flickered to the door. It was locked, but only to keep other people out. Goro could leave if he wanted out, or he could just say so, or he could say the safeword, and it would be fine. And in the meantime, Mishka would sit here and quietly read him, make sure everything was okay. Safe. And then, with a jolt, Mishka realized he was reassuring himself (for once) that Goro was safe-- from him. That was-- that was-- what the fuck was that? Why was he doing that? ' Lina: ' "Shit." Goro laughed and rubbed his face. "I just... I just want to know what the hell's going on." But yes. He did, definitely, want Mishka to continue with the showing him of things. "I mean... if you're actually offering..." Coyote: "You want to know what the hell's going on? I feel like it's fairly obvious," Mishka said, tilting his head. "You're pretty sharp. I'm sure you can figure it out. What do you think is going on?" He leaned over, and, as he spoke, rested a hand on Goro's clothes, as if asking permission to undress him. ' Lina: ' "No, it's not fucking obvious, because--" Goro scooted backward and drew his knees up, crouching on the bed, pointing wildly back and forth between Mishka and the door. "The two of you have been talking like this for days and not doing shit about it, and I'm starting to wonder if you're not just fucking with me." Coyote: Mishka pulled back, eyes narrowing. Rereading the situation. The tension when Goro had first entered the room, the way he kept glancing between them on deck. Mishka stayed where he was. He thought about what he wanted to say, and tried to think of how to phrase it the most plain way possible. "I want to have sex with you." Yeah, this was probably pretty fuckin' confusing, though, looking from the outside, because Mishka had been flirting with Goro since the night they'd met and only made good on it once. "I want to have sex with you," Mishka said. "But." I don't know how to relax and let you touch me. Goro looked like Aleksei, a fucking lot like Aleksei, and for some reason, that made Mishka tense all over, sometimes. And not in a good way; in a way that made his skin crawl. Okay. Maybe they could just... both take this slowly. Goro was clearly a bit inexperienced too, and he'd clearly been through.... something, whatever it was. Maybe they could both just learn how to do this slowly with lots of breaks and talking and figuring shit out. That would be okay. "I want to have sex with you," Mishka said. "I'm just-- I'm just fuckin' freaked out and I'm gonna do something wrong and hurt you, alright? I want to sit here and... talk it out. Maybe try some things today." ' Lina: ' Goro relaxed just slightly, sitting, knees hugged to his chest. He stared at Mishka intently. "Talk it out?" Sounded weird. But he didn't think Mishka was bullshitting him. Still, weird. Coyote: “Mhm. You’re going to sit there, and I’m going to ask you a series of small questions, and then—“ Actually, he had a better idea. “Three questions,” Mishka said. “I’m gonna ask you three questions and then you ask me three. Honest answers, no bullshit. I just want t’know— I mean, full disclosure, I want to fuck with you in every way possible, but I’d like to make sure that’s... okay... first. Look— somebody fucked me up a bit, and I just... I don’t want to be the person that fucks you up, is all. I’ll start, if you like.” ' Lina: ' "Oh, I've already been thoroughly fucked up, Mishka, I assure you." He bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, you start." Coyote: He just fucking wanted to... touch Goro. Something. Anything. He wanted to pull Goro into his lap again. He didn’t, though. He folded his legs on the bed. “The thing with the shackles and the jokes about tying you up,” Mishka said. “That’s okay with you— I’ve got that. But when you say it’s okay with you, do you mean you’re really fucking into it, or just that it doesn’t bother you?” He paused. “I mean, if you aren’t into it, we can do other things that don’t involve that.” ' Lina: ' Goro bit down on a thumbnail thoughtfully. His eyes slid off to the side. He was concerned if he said yes, I'm really fucking into it, it would reveal something troubling about his psyche. Then again, Mishka was probably well aware Goro was a few cards shy of a full deck. "Yes," he said quietly. "Really. Fucking. Into it." December 5, 2018 Coyote: “Oh goodie. Me too.” They had a few hours. Mishka was pretty fuckin’ good with rope and knots. He liked the idea of carefully stripping him naked and tying him up, taking his time with it. Flirting. He liked the way Goro bit back at him when he flirted. Yeah, that sounded good. Slow and patient. Until Goro was on edge, voice cracking. Until he was out of smart remarks, but all tied up, nowhere to go. Shuddering with the need for Mishka to just fucking get it over with and touch him already. “Got a question for me?” Mishka asked mildly. He began taking his clothes off. First unclasping his cloak, then toeing off his shoes. ' Lina: ' Goro's gaze lingered on Mishka's hands as he undid his cloak. Then he looked Mishka in the eye. "How many? Besides Hansel?" Coyote: “One,” Mishka said shortly. He thought about leaving it there. But maybe it’d be... pertinent to explain. “I have a weird sex drive. I have gone literally years without thinking about it, much less wanting it. I suppose it’s just not... important to me, most of the time.” Maybe a bit more. “I’ve tried to pick people up before. Tried sleeping with a half-orc fellow that reminded me of Hansel, a bit. Backed out at the last second. He didn’t like that, so he tried to hold me down, y’know. Fuckin’ men, right?” He snorted at his own joke, then shifted uncomfortably. “Anyway, apparently he didn’t realize I was a sorcerer and not a defenseless peasant. I teleported behind him and cut his throat.” He reached out. “C’mere,” he said. “D’you have to be over there?” ' Lina: ' Goro didn't move. He stared at Mishka, horrified, until something snapped and he gave a little sigh of distress, covering his eyes with one hand. Trying to block the image from his mind. Coyote: Mishka dropped his hand. Oh. Alright. “Ah, sorry. Didn’t mean to make it weird.” He tried to think of the next question to move things along. ' Lina: ' Goro shook his head a few times. He got onto all fours and crawled back to the edge of the bed. "You c'mere," he said, reaching for Mishka. "You got another question?" Coyote: Yeah, this kid was fuckin’ hard to read. Pulling away, then not wanting to come closer, then telling Mishka to come closer instead. Well... he didn’t get it. But he could just take what Goro said at face value. He pulled Goro back against him, down into the sheets, so they were lying in bed together. “Did I upset you?” he said. Then added, “That does not count as one of my questions.” ' Lina: ' "I'm just sorry to hear you killed him," Goro said, tucking his face against Mishka's neck. He liked that spot. "'Cause I would've liked to have a go at it." Coyote: “Mm. Well. You can help me kill the dragon instead.” Mishka closed his eyes, pleased and warm. He reached for the belt that Goro wore over his clothing. He slid the tongue through the buckle, unbuckling it with a click. He looked at Goro, eyes half-open. ' Lina: ' Goro raised his eyebrows, one corner of his mouth creeping up. "Huh, I thought we were just... talking things out. Are you trying to distract me now?" Coyote: "Oh, no," Mishka said. "No, I said we were talking things out, not just talking things out. There's a difference." He shifted upright and tossed the belt on the floor. "However do you stand so much clothing?" ' Lina: ' Goro put his hands behind his head and rested his eyes. "Is that question number two?" Coyote: "No. Take off your outer robe or I'll do it for you. One item of clothing per question. New rule." ' Lina: ' Goro cracked one eye open, frowning. "But Captain, it's not fair to change the rules partway through the game." Nonetheless, he sat up and shrugged the robe off. "Any other demands, Sea Highness?" Coyote: Mishka didn't say anything, just looked at him, mouth curling a bit at the corner. He didn't take off any items of clothing. Decided, instead, Goro would have to call him on it if he wanted to see Mishka naked again. "Second question," he said. "Just want to establish your general level of things you're into. I met a guy once who liked to be lashed to the mast and whipped with a crop. That's a bit much for me. But I'll admit, I mean... my favorite kind've sex is the kind of sex where we both walk out with bruises and finger-nail marks." He shrugged. "Anyway. Thoughts? Opinions?" ' Lina: ' Goro opened both eyes this time, and frowned again. "How am I supposed to know? If I've never tried it. In case you didn't make the connection, I was a pure and virginal church boy before you ravished me the other day." Coyote: "Right," Mishka said. "And then I seduced you, corrupted you, broke you, and made y'like it, huh. Whatever would the Church of Helm say." He propped his face up on his elbow. "So what made you decide not to have sex, anyway? Just never got around to it? Not interested? I'm surprised a thirty-three-year-old man with such pretty eyes never caught anyone's attention." ' Lina: ' It had been over twenty years, but Mishka's words immediately brought to Goro's mind something a friend had told him once. Trying to look out for him. You've got pretty eyes. There'll be men who want to do things to you, but you don't have to take it. "Thirty-two," he corrected. He cleared his throat. "And they're not that pretty." He was aware he hadn't answered the question, but he wasn't sure what to say. He wondered if Mishka would even call him on it. Coyote: And there was that tension again, the ripple of tightness, the looking away. Mishka watched him. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to push this or leave it be. So instead he just leaned back against the pillows. "You didn't answer the question." ' Lina: ' Goro moved his hands from behind his head and examined them. Picked at a hangnail. "Mm. No one reason. Wasn't that interested. Didn't have time. Didn't want to be distracted." And... something else. A rotten feeling. "When I was growing up..." He paused again. "This isn't... this isn't a happy thing I have to say. If you were wanting to set the mood for--" Goro gestured between the two of him, then he snorted. "Then again, you told me that shit about that half orc, and that person who fucked you up, whoever he was--" Aleks? Mishka had said something about a date. They hadn't been just friends. "Anyway. When I was growing up, what I saw all around me was people fucking for all these awful reasons. Because they were hungry. Because they were cold. Because someone made them. I had no interest in it after that. Seemed like something I would never develop a taste for. Until I guess I did, suddenly. Maybe it's been long enough." It was Mishka's turn to take off a piece of clothing, but Goro didn't say anything. Felt weird to change the subject like that. Coyote: Mishka caught him by the wrist and pulled him closer. He looked Goro directly in the eyes and spoke low and quiet between them. "For fuck's sake, Goro. I'm not gonna tell you to stop talking about your... trauma... so we can fuck." He let go. "I want to talk about it, yeah. We can circle back around to setting the mood later." ' Lina: ' Goro felt the urge to dive in and snuggle up to Mishka, let himself be held tight. What the fuck. Whatever Hansel and Mishka were doing to him, it was weird. Giving him an insatiable urge to be held. It was slightly less weird with Hansel. Goro had long gotten the impression that Hansel had his back, so long as they were fighting on the same team. Wasn't a huge leap to make from that to feeling like Hansel's arms were a safe place to be. Mishka, though. Mishka was... making him feel safe now? What the hell was that about? It was new. Having the sense that if Mishka were holding him, he'd feel somehow sheltered from all the shit in the world, that was so new and different as to be terrifying in its own right. Terrifying because he might be wrong. Because he might lose it. Because he still suspected he was deluding himself to think Mikhail Haeth saw him as anything but a shiny new toy. So Goro just... stayed where he was. For now. "Anyway. That answer your question?" Coyote: "If that's all you want to say about it." Hah. He was good at cheating at this game. So far he'd managed to ask four questions, roughly, and only count two. ' Lina: ' "That's all there is to say about it." Goro eyed Mishka's clothing. "Don't tell me you were counting your shoes." Coyote: Mishka snorted. He peeled off his shirt and tossed it aside, leaving just his pants. "Happy?" ' Lina: ' Yes. He fucking was. His eyes roamed over Mishka's skin, his freckles, the tattoos, the scales. "What do those feel like?" Goro asked, pointing. "The scales. Can I touch them?" Coyote: Mishka shifted, turning his back to allow access. The brass scales were difficult to see in spots, almost blending into his skin, but were shiny and thick over his shoulderblades. "Sure. Indulge yourself." ' Lina: ' Goro reached out carefully, barely touching his fingertips to the scales at first. Then he pressed more firmly, running his fingers around the area, really feeling it. They were softer than they looked, and smooth. "What does it feel like for you when I touch them?" Coyote: "Mm. Like feeling something through a glove," Mishka said. He kept a very calm and straight face. "They itch when they shed." ' Lina: ' "They shed?" Goro pulled his hand back. "Uh. Neat." Coyote: "Nah," Mishka said. "Just teasing." The touching sent prickles down his spine. He wanted Goro to feel the rest of his body. Pull Goro hard against him and let Goro kiss his neck and touch him. Breathe in the scent of his skin and just... feel things. He did indulge himself a little, pulling Goro back against him again, into his lap, so that Goro was lying against him on the bed. "Is there anything we ought to... avoid doing? Anything that'll freak you out? Third and final question." ' Lina: ' "Hmm, I'm gonna go with a firm no on any possession and mind control shit. Hey. Wait." Goro pulled back so he could scowl at Mishka. "That's not even a joke. You did mind control me once. Don't fucking do that." Coyote: "Goro," Mishka said. "I won't, alright? I want you awake, aware, and in control of your body when I break you." He tweaked Goro's nose. ' Lina: ' Goro batted Mishka's hand away. Then he relaxed against him again and thought some more. Things that would freak him out. Huh. He supposed there was no harm in being thorough. "I don't like tight spaces. Or feeling like I can't breathe. Or... anything that would make it so I can't see or hear." 'No harm in being thorough' wasn't quite accurate, he realized. He'd just given Mishka a list of all the quickest ways to terrify him, if Mishka ever changed his mind about the don't-want-to-hurt-you stuff. Eh. Shit. Well. Too late to do anything about it now. Coyote: "Huh. Good to know." Mishka tossed a couple fantasies out the window. Eh, he'd think of more. He had loads. Mishka Plans. ' Lina: ' "You're down to these, looks like," Goro said, tugging at the waistline of Mishka's pants. Coyote: "How in the Nine Hells have I ended up with less clothes than you? We started with the same amount, I thought." Mishka narrowed his eyes, glancing from the belt to the robe, wondering what counted and what didn't, how many questions... He'd gotten distracted. ' Lina: ' Goro gave him big, innocent eyes and a shrug. "I have more layers." Coyote: Mishka reached over, flipped Goro over, and started wrestling the shirt off him, smirking the whole time. ' Lina: ' Goro grinned and raised his arms overhead to make the process easier. Once the shirt was off, he grabbed Mishka, cupping him by the shoulders, fingers pressing against his scales, and dragged him down for a kiss. Coyote: Mishka's breath caught. Ah. Yeah. This. This was what they came here to do. Yeah, fuck the questions. This was easier. He couldn't force himself to keep away anymore, couldn't force himself to keep talking without flirting. Too... on edge. He'd woken up the last night wanting to pull Goro against him, press Goro's face in the pillow to muffle his moans, making him writhe and try to stay quiet, but Hansel had been right there, and... God, he wanted this now. He held Goro in place with the weight of his body, straddling him. The touching-- the hands on his back-- that was new, and it sent shudders down his spine. He wasn't sure if they were uneasy shudders or... nice shudders. Last time, Goro had been safely tied up, unable to touch him back. That had been easier, somehow. Less intense. Mishka swallowed back the weird feelings. He wanted this so fucking bad. He kissed Goro harder. He shifted, elbowing Goro's arms, pushing them off his back so that Goro wasn't touching him anymore. Of course, then Goro just reached up to touch him again. That's what people did during sex. They touched each other. With their hands. And Mishka shouldn't be fucking weird about it, he needed to get over it. He shouldn't be this desperate and this fucked up at the same time; it was wildly confusing. Mishka jerked at the touch, and he grabbed Goro's hands and held them down. Mishka bent, not letting go. He was breathing raggedly. His hair shifted in front of his eyes. "Sorry," Mishka said. "Gimme, ah. Gimme a-- a minute." Fuck, fuck, fuck, he wanted this, he wanted it so goddamn bad it physically hurt. ' Lina: ' Always. Always, it was fucking confusing with him. It was pretty clear that physically speaking, Mishka wanted this. But he also looked like he was about to have another breakdown. And Goro thought of Mishka's final question--Anything that'll freak you out?--and realized he should have fucking asked it, too. Something had gone wrong. Maybe something he could have avoided. Mishka was holding his hands down. Goro thought back to how Mishka had elbowed his arms out of the way, and how he seemed startled when Goro touched him again. Anything that'll freak you out? Goro watched him. His shaking breaths, the hair falling in his eyes. His fingernails digging into Goro's wrists. "That why you like me tied up?" Goro asked quietly. Coyote: "Yeah. Yeah, maybe. God, I don't know. I didn't think so. Maybe it's-- maybe it's multiple things." His grip tightened, then loosened, then tightened. Flexing his grip. Goro wasn't trying to get up, or get away. Maybe he was fine with it. It felt... rude, though, or wrong, or unfair somehow, like Goro wasn't allowed to touch him back. "I mean," Mishka said hoarsely. "I didn't think it was. I'm pretty sure I just like having you tied up." He managed to relax a little. Everything was fine. "You, you know-- you get this look on your face, and you make these noises, and... it's pretty goddamn hot, actually. I think I just like fucking with you. I think I just..." I think I just like getting you off. "I think I just like getting you off," he said. "I've changed my mind. I'm pretty sure the reason I like tying you up and fucking with you is just because I like tying you up and fucking with you. God, the way you... squirm like that. Fuck, I just want to fucking--" He broke off, making a frustrated noise. ' Lina: ' "Mishka. Quit it. Quit... changing the subject." Maybe that wasn't fair. It was an answer to Goro's question, after all. "What the fuck. What the fuck's going on? I should have asked. I meant to ask." Not quite. He hadn't thought to ask in time. "Find out if there's anything that freaks you out. Can I not touch you?" God, that was... awful. Like being handed water in the desert, only to have it snatched away. Coyote: "No. No, I want you to touch me." Mishka swallowed. "It's okay. It's just-- it's overwhelming. I didn't expect that. Caught me off-guard. I didn't know." He tried to explain a little bit more coherently, a little more logically. "When I was a kid, I had a lot of-- trouble, uh, controlling my magic. Lots of strong feelings. That's how you make me--." Shit. He was going to That's how you make me feel. Too many feelings. That would sound wrong, though, like it was romantic, or something. Might give Goro the wrong impression. He let out a shaky breath. "It doesn't matter. Can we go slow on the touching thing? I mean, it was okay before, when we were just-- y'know, fuckin' cuddling. But somehow when it's, when it's sex, it feels... different. It's a lot... more, like this. More intense somehow. Maybe too intense." He forced himself to calm down. "I really want to do this," he said. "Honestly. Fucking dying for it. I just-- it's hard. Need to, to go slow, I guess." It occurred to him, suddenly, that he'd known Hansel for years before they had sex. He suddenly realized he was still holding onto Goro's wrists, his nails digging into Goro's skin. He let go. "Sorry. Fuck. Sorry." ' Lina: ' "Oh." Goro felt like someone was squeezing his heart painfully tight. It took him a moment to understand why. He was... really fucking sad for Mishka. No, that wasn't a strong enough word. He felt heartbroken, or something. Watching Mishka struggle with himself, try to talk his way through it. Fucking empathy, wasn't that great. Always a joy. Take it slow. Of course. "Yeah, I can do that," Goro said. But how to go about it, exactly. He knew that with himself, he didn't like being touched unexpectedly... well, unless it was Hansel kissing the top of his head, now, but in general; and he didn't like it when people he didn't know well touched him, and he didn't like people manhandling him... except Mishka, kind of. Huh. The point was, Goro got the flinching, the not wanting to be touched, but he didn't get Mishka's way of it, exactly. What they'd been doing a minute ago was exactly the kind of thing Goro was good with. "Here," Goro said. He took Mishka's hands, laced their fingers together briefly, then slid his own hands up so Mishka held his wrists again. "Show me. How you want me to touch you." Coyote: Mishka swallowed. And there it was again, that twisted, intense feeling he couldn't place. Making his heart beat painfully in his chest. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, okay." Maybe it would just be easier if... he had a hold of Goro's wrists. So he could guide it. God, this was fucking with his head. He was supposed to be the smooth, in control one here. He was supposed to be talking things through with Goro to make sure Goro felt safe. And here he was, getting weird about shit. He put one of Goro's arms around him again, then let go. It was easier when he put it there himself. "It's fine," Mishka said. "Just... slow. I'll let you know if I need to take breaks." He let go of Goro's other wrist. "I want you to." He pressed his overheated face to Goro's cool shoulder. ' Lina: ' Goro kissed Mishka's cheek, keeping one hand steady on his back, and using the other hand to grab a fistful of the sheets. This was confusing, yes, and his heart still ached, but he couldn't deny he was still real fucking into what they were doing. His breath came quick, puffing against Mishka's skin, and that... that could be too much, couldn't it? Breath could be like a touch. Goro inhaled and held it, turning his face away, and he remembered how Mishka said he loved the little noises Goro made. So Goro let the air out in a little sigh, a little moan. He remembered how Mishka said the way you squirm like that. So he shifted his hips underneath Mishka's. Coyote: Yeah. Yeah, that was perfect, that was... good. Mishka caught him when he turned away and kissed him fast and hard. He guided Goro’s hand down, then shut his eyes tightly. Everything felt over-sensitive, like heat on a sunburn. It felt so fucking good, though, exactly what he’d been desperately wanting for… Years. Over two years. Almost two years and four months, now, actually. Mishka muffled his noises in Goro’s shoulder, and Goro held him tight, keeping the arm wrapped around his back. __ When it was done—when both of them were done—Mishka caught his breath. They were naked, and lying in bed together. And it was… fine. Everything was fine. Mishka rolled over, and just... looked at him. Sometime during their conversation, night had begun to fall. The sunset out side the porthole was red and orange, lighting the room with a soft, golden glow. It looked good, falling on Goro like that. It made him look... softer, somehow. Mishka looked at him and thought: Four days. Yeah. Not enough time. December 6, 2018 Coyote: at 10:32 AM end Final title: Goro and Mishka (Small Questions) Suggested summary: On the ship to Calimport, Mishka and Goro talk. They ditch the ropes and chains, let their guards down, and make love instead of just having sex. Category:Text Roleplay